'𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘕𝘰𝘳𝘴𝘦 𝘎𝘰𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘏𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘈𝘱𝘱𝘭𝘪𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦𝘴' Hoodie

    Born on Mount Olympus.. no, wait. Isn't Olympus home of the Greek Gods? Where are Norse Gods from? Scandinavia? Mount Scandinavia? Whatever, screw it, born on Mount Olympus and carried to whatever socialist mountain in Swedan the Norse Gods called home, each of these ancient dieties would then spend their life mostly hanging out, making babies & just being the most insufferable divas they could be. More often than anything though, they spent their time playing practical jokes on unsuspecting humans as a way to pass the time (eternity gets pretty boring, especially since the 'God of Daytime Television' wouldn't be born for another couple thousand years, same goes for the 'Gods of Internet Poker & Day Drinking' which always frustrated Odin who could see all of time, but could not affect the rate at which it passed and so for thousands of years was unable to indulge in his two favorite things: slot machines and sipping bottomless ceasers at the Luxor Hotel & Casino in Vegas. All of this is to say, that the Gods of yore were forced to come up with other, more 'primitive' forms of entertainment.)

    The "practical jokes" I'm referring to however aren't the typical whoopi cushion tossing, man-on-man sensual roughhousing you and I are likely used to, the type of practical jokes the Gods dish out are on a whole other scale (of sociopathy), at least to humans. Ravage an entire continent with the black plague? To humans, it's a turning point in our collective history that remains part of the global curriculum for centuries... but to the Gods? It's a hilarious, if not somewhat forgettable, romp to pull on medival Europe whenever the workday crawls to a halt & there aren't any viking raids to lord over like a child watching an ant colony, magnifying glass clenched tightly, awaiting the perfect moment to unleash a very localized 'hell on Earth." Or, another example, the shifting of tectonic plates, setting into motion a massive tsunami that floods the largest human settlements? To humans, it becomes lore, a story recorded in numerous ancient texts by the one guy in each community who isn't illiterate or dead, and then studied and taught for centuries, ultimately becoming a legend as globally ubiquitous as the Gods themselves, but to the Gods? Splish splash, I was taking a bath!

     In fact, the Gods actually addressed this very criticism in a press release that was as defensive as it was unsettling, writing, "do YOU notice every anthill you step on? Do you feel guilt for every colony vaporized beneath the unrelenting heat of your magnifying glass? Of course not." That's a direct quote in response to the growing earthly displeasure directed towards the Gods after Thor got drunk and ignited what is colloquially refferred to as the Pompeii incident.

    However, as 'at the mercy' of the Gods humans may have once been, we have ultimately prevailed as the drivers of destiny. I don't personally know if a man can kill a God, but you can forget them; you're allowed to dismiss their elitist monologuing as nothing more than a tantrum, their threats of vengeance as nothing but the outbursts of a spoiled man-child who's never heard the word 'no'. And equally as possible, Gods can also be tamed, humbled and made to work for us, which is exactly what we've done and continue to do. The God of Agriculture, for example, tamed early in the Neolithic age, has now been beaten, dissected and dismembered to the point of excess. The God of Pillsbury Cookie Dough has personally bestowed a lifetime of blessings upon me and is one I hope continues to grant me many, MANY more. The God of Science and Technology has gifted our species innumerable treasures, and in fact, there are even those who now hope to build a God of their own, one made not of myth and man, but of sillicon and incomprehensible datasets containing mostly, if I understand correctly, copyrighted Sarah Silverman books. We call this God 'Artificial Intelligence' and while it currently offers up unfunny nonsense with the gravitas of a wealthy, coastal Jewish woman (gee, I wonder where it picked that up?) I've been told it will soon be devouring the sun & moon, and evangelizing non-believers at a rate that would make a brigade of coke-fueled Mormans blush. What I suppose I'm getting at, is that just like all of A.I.'s predecessors, every powerful deity that came before it, good or bad, it's almost certainly going to cause humanity a bit of grief, but hopefully, just as we've always managed to do in the past, we can get things sorted in due time. And if it means we loose another Pompeii or sacrifice Sarah Silverman along the way, thats just collateral damage, the cost of doing business, and honestly, I might even be so bold as to call that a "win-win."

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    Reworked grey hoodie with a French terry torso and knit sides & sleeves. It features a patchwork aesthetic,   two knit pockets, hood & drawstring and a trendy,  grunge vibe that masks the end-to-end quality materials & craftsmanship this gorgeous piece was constructed with.

    Tax free. 1 of 1. Unisex. Fits true to size. 100% cotton. 

Size: Large