'𝘔𝘪𝘭𝘬 𝘊𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘰𝘯 𝘒𝘪𝘥𝘴' Crewneck Sweater

      Where do people go when they 'disappear?' Did they get on a Disney cruise ship only to accidently end up killing the guy who wears the Snoopy costume in the nightly 2-hour Charlie Brown themed musical stage performance and, as a result, they themselves were forced to learn each of the songs and corresponding choreography in just a few hours in order to be the one who dons the Snoopy costume for the rest of their days or risk serving a lifetime sentence in Disney prison? Of course not, don't be stupid! Despite Disney prison being the 'Happiest Prison on Earth,'™ its strictly for imagineers who fail to imagine higher profits; besides, Charlie Brown and his cruel, dirty friends are owned by Apple, not Disney, you peon! (Quick aside: a little memory trick to remember that Apple owns Charlie Brown and Co. is to think 'whats the best kind of apple? A brown apple! A brapple. A Charlie Brapple — which, coincidentally, is the name of the musical from the cruise ship.)

     As I was saying before you rudely interrupted me, where doth thou missing sire goeth? Did they melt in the rain like the Wicked Witch of the West™? Did they move into the underground tunnels beneath Las Vegas? Did they get served court papers and immediately flee in order to avoid paying my mother child support? It certainly is likely (Dad, if you're reading this, what's Las Vegas like? Are the tunnels square shaped or rounded? I imagine they're square shaped, but I'm keeping an open mind for rounded. Let me know! Thanks.) The truth is, I don't know where people go when they disappear, and neither does my mom or the private investigator she hired and later married. And I don't know what shape the tunnels under Las Vegas are, they could be frickin' triangular! I...SIMPLY...DON'T...KNOW! But I do know that loosing someone without warning, especially without the 'closure' that 'knowing' can provide, is likely difficult beyond words. It's probably agonizingly painful having someone you care about completely disappear without so much as a "goodbye," because the truth is, they're likely not on a Disney cruise, and there is a near zero chance of them living in a network of dense sewer pipes. The truth is, in all honesty, and assuming that police statistics can be trusted, the individuals who we cared about, and who cared deeply about us but suddenly vanished in a moments notice, well, those individuals, are probably dead. But yo, let me tell you about this sweater while I have your attention...

    This one is heavyweight & super thick (and I'm not talking about Oprah, I'm talking about sweaters). It's a light grey crewneck sweater with a barrage of prints and graphics on the torso and sleeves overlayed with black twill printed patches. Made from top quality fleece cotton.

      Unisex. Fits true to size. 100% cotton. Made in Canada.

Size: XL